The Quill and Me—Devotional Blog•Oswald Chambers Reflections
About Me—Quil,Author of The Quill and Me Devotional Blog
About Quil - A Plain-Spoken Walk of Faith †
I’m Quil. I write under a pen name for privacy, but everything here is real. My life has held sorrow, loss, and long stretches where I didn’t know what God was doing. When I first began this blog, I was simply trying to understand my own story — the ache, the healing, and the quiet ways the Lord meets us in ordinary days.
Some of my earliest posts, like my father’s transformation and my own salvation, were written with a trembling heart. They were the first pieces I wrote for this blog. They were the first places where I allowed my private life to become public — where I share openly what God had done and is doing in me.
God has asked me to do this. It is not something I take lightly. He has asked me to become vulnerable in a public space so He can use my testimony, my healing, my new walk of faith, and the slow work He is doing inside me.
Here you will see what is happening to me and within me as I walk through Oswald Chambers' golden book, My Utmost For His Highest. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is real. You are watching me change day by day as I walk this journey.
A Book I Carried Long Before I Was Ready
I’ve had my burgundy hardback copy of My Utmost for His Highest since the late 1990s — the edition with gold‑embossed lettering and the note “An Updated Edition in Today’s Language.” At the bottom of the presentation page, it calls itself The Golden Book of Oswald Chambers. His wife compiled it from his lectures and published it after his passing.
For years, it was too heavy for me. I read a few pages, drawn to the depth but not ready for it. Still, I never let the book go. I carried it through moves, upheaval, and seasons where I didn’t understand why it mattered.
Now I know the Lord preserved it for this exact time in my life. Chambers’ words reach places in me I once couldn’t face. They break me open in the best way — not because they are sad, but because they are true.
How I Ended Up Writing
Through Oswald Chambers
When I began writing reflections from Chambers’ work, I didn’t know what I was stepping into. I only knew I felt led. If I had known how deep and demanding his words would be — how they would search me, undo me, and reshape me — I might never have tried. But God knew. He knew what this book would mean to me long before I did.
These reflections aren’t written from expertise. They’re written from surrender. They take time, honesty, and help — and through them, God continues to shape me.
What Writing Has Done In Me
This space has never been a journal to me — I have pen and paper for that. This is accountability. This is obedience. I had no idea what I was doing when I began writing this blog. I had no idea what it was going to take from me — or, more importantly, what it would give back to me. It has become a place where the Lord meets me again and again — in Scripture, in prayer, and in the slow healing of my own heart.
Writing here has helped me see truths about myself I once couldn’t face, including the hidden places where I had turned against myself without knowing it. God brought those things into the light at the exact moment I was ready to heal.
There is something you will not see here, though it has marked every step of this journey: the tears. The tears I cried long before this began. The tears I cry still. They rise from an ache deep inside — from doors being opened and walls falling, from a heart once broken into pieces so small I did not know if they could ever be gathered again. But God is gathering them. One by one. Quietly. Patiently. He is renewing me from the inside out.
It is a painful process. New paths being formed. New ways of seeing. New ways of trusting. New everything. I am taking steps into an unknown, unseen future — steps I never imagined taking, steps I could not take without Him. What you read here is shaped in that hidden place: the ache, the surrender, the rebuilding, the slow forming of a life centered in Christ.
This is my first season of writing online. It came late in life, but it fits the way only God’s timing can.
Why I Write
I write because God rounded me up after a lifetime of sorrow, wandering, and trying to find my way. I am a redeemed soul, still being healed and refined every single day I work on these Chambers reflections. Each one holds my heart.
I share them because God knew I would only keep going if I made a promise to someone besides myself — and you, the reader, are part of that promise. Walk this journey with me. Let the Lord in. We can grow together as He continues His quiet work in us.
Update 6/22/2026:
God gathered me after a long season of sorrow and wandering, and in these past months He has confirmed my calling so I could be sure. I write because He laid hold of me, and He keeps affirming this path so I can walk it with peace and trust.
An Invitation
Stay awhile and explore the posts. Many still bring me to tears, which tells me they are doing the work God meant them to do. And when you have a moment, visit the Free Resource Library. Those printable gifts come from two years of creative work, and I offer them freely.
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If you want to read about my childhood accident on a school playground, at the age of seven, this is the link: God Is Here
I was saved at the age of nine: My Salvation Story
How God turned my life around with the birth of my daughter in 1983: A Mother's Story
My Testimony of how the journey began 2021-2025: From Chaos To Christ
Forgiving Myself: Forgiveness & Self-Love
A burden that opened a door: What is Self-Love
Personal Testimony Dec 2025: My Journey To Obedience
A Testimony of God's Provision and my fear: Courage and Strength in Scripture
My Spiritual Growth Journey with Oswald Chambers' Book Begins Jan 1, 2026: Jesus, The Quill, and Me—My Devotional Journey Begins
My Surrender on April 8th is the reason: Why The Self-Love Series Ends Here Apr 11
I talk about God lifting my fifty-year burden May 3, 2026: Let God Do His Work
A Devotional and Testimony about my self-hate May 2026: When God Reveals The Truth
Here you can read where I lay down burdens: Laying It All Down on July 5.
And on July 7 I talk about surrender being:The Difficult Way, The Beautiful Way
If you would like to read the story behind this surrendered life,
you can visit my Aug 15 devotional: When my Eyes Were Opened
August 2026: A Later Testimony: Fully Surrendered To The Son
Chambers' message reflects my life August 21, 2026: The Quiet Work of God
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With grace and gratitude,
~ Quil
(pseudonym)
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