What is Self-Love?

Self‑Love – What is that?

Discovering the Meaning of Self-Love

My Story: A 50-Year Journey

I was past the age of 60 before I discovered the phrase "Self-Love." About 40 pages into a self‑love workbook, I realized something terrible: I hated myself. That discovery explained so many things.

My story goes back 50 years. As an unmarried mother working nights in a bar, my son stayed with babysitters. My family didn’t approve. They said, “Let us keep him until you get on your feet.” What began as temporary guardianship became adoption by my sister and her husband. I was told I wasn’t a fit mother.

Less than a year later, I was banned from their home over a false story about giving him gum. From then on, I was shut out—no invites to birthdays, graduations, family gatherings. No pictures. Nothing. I was not included in his life even as the 'aunt' that I am, she did not want me around him - to this day.

It has been 50 years now. Not much has changed. But I am learning to forgive myself for trusting my family and letting others decide my life. And I am trying, at last, to learn to love myself. The mind boggling pain I have suffered over the past 50 years over this one life-altering decision alone has nearly crippled me and my heart.

The Workbook That Found Me

And now, I will return to my workbook, trusting that even in the mess inside me, God is present and guiding me toward peace.

The Self-Love Workbook I will be working out of was written by Megan Logan, MSW, LCSW. I bought it on Amazon, knowing nothing at all about self-love; how I chose this great workbook is still a mystery to me. The exact name is: *SELF-LOVE WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are* (Copyright 2020).

Quoting from the book: “What is Self-Love? Self-Love is the fuel that allows an individual to reach their full potential, and is filled with compassion, grace, and gentleness.”

The workbook reminds us that we often struggle to know how to love ourselves. We may recognize the need for self-love but get stuck, not knowing what steps to take next. We become lost, unfamiliar with how to navigate the path forward.

Choosing to Begin Again

This book is going to take me through those steps. I am choosing to work through it and share my journey here on this blog. I don’t know exactly how that will unfold, and I admit I am reluctant to face the painful parts. If it were possible to skip the process, I would have done so long ago. But when I discovered I hated myself, it shook me deeply. It has taken me a long time—perhaps a year or two—to process that truth and find my way back to this workbook.

Now, it is time. I have to do this for myself. I believe the Lord is requiring it of me.

God in the Mess

Working through self-love is not about rushing to the finish line—it is about honoring each step, even the painful ones, as part of God’s refining work. The workbook is a tool, but the true healing comes from opening ourselves to grace, compassion, and the Lord’s presence in the process. My journey may be slow, but it is real, and I trust that even in the mess, God is shaping me toward peace. I will lean on this blog, and on you, as my accountability partners along the way.  Without accountability, I would hardly take a step toward this workbook. But with this blog, with you reading, and with the Lord guiding me, I have companions on the path. That makes the journey possible.

My Prayer for the Journey:

Lord, You see the places in me that feel broken, reluctant, and afraid.  

You also see the longing in me to be whole, to live with joy, and to honor the life You have given me.  

As I open this workbook and face the truths inside, meet me there with Your gentleness.  

Teach me to love myself as You love me—with compassion, patience, and grace.  

Guide my steps, even when they feel heavy, and remind me that I am never alone.  

Please, grant me the strength and courage I need to face myself as I work through this book.

In the precious name of Jesus - my refuge, my strength, my hiding place, the one I run to, my everything. Amen.

A Thought to Carry With You: 

Self-love is not a destination but a journey of courage, honesty, and grace. As I step into this process with the workbook, I am reminded that healing often begins in the places we least want to face. Yet even there, God meets us with compassion and strength. My hope is that as I walk this path, you too may find encouragement to face your own journey—trusting that you are never alone, and that love, both divine and personal, is waiting to guide you forward. 

One Day At A Time...Quil