The Quill and Me—Devotional Blog•Oswald Chambers Reflections  
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Aug 16
Today's Reading: My Utmost for His Highest
John 10:3
"He calls His own . . . by name . . ."

Do You Know Him?

For most of my life, I did not know Him — though He always knew me. He was with me, but I was not with Him. I ignored Him for 68 years, and my heart aches over that loss. Yet when I look back now, I can see His presence in my life, even though I was spiritually blind at the time.

I had never heard the word surrender used in connection with Jesus Christ. When I was younger, I thought “giving your life to God” meant becoming a missionary or a nun, and I knew that wasn’t the life I wanted. I didn’t understand that surrender was something entirely different. Believing it meant going overseas or entering a religious order kept me from ever pursuing giving my life to Him.

I searched for love in all the wrong places, not knowing what my heart was really longing for. I didn’t find it until I found Him — waiting for me in surrender. In that moment, I knew He was the One I had been searching for all along, the only One who could fill the aching hole in my heart.

But did I know Him? No, I did not know Him at all. 

Even though I was saved at the age of nine, I did not know my Saviour. But since April of this year, after surrendering my life to Him, I have gotten to know Him. He has shown me who He is. That I can trust Him. That He loves me. That He has always been with me. That I need Him. 

He has proven to me that He has always been with me, even before I accepted Him as my Savior. He has reminded me of the many times that He was there for me, when I was actually just ignoring Him. He never turned away, He never left me, He never betrayed me, He has always been a true friend to me. And I have come to know Him. 

I find Him when I am lonely, hurt, needing strength. When I just want to talk, when I need guidance, when I need truth, when I do not know what I need...

He is always there. I never have to look for Him. I never need to doubt Him. I can trust Him with my whole being. Because I know His background with me, I have proof that He is faithful. He is my refuge, my strength, my hiding place, my one and only place to go when the world beats me up. 

Since surrender He has been with me, teaching me, admonishing me, opening my eyes to truths, guiding and supporting me, transforming me from the inside out, controlling my sin, self, and the willful will that for years tormented me. My life has changed from the inside. 

I have given Him my burdens, my fears, worries, my ego, my pride, my whole self. And He has given me peace that surpasses all human understanding. I am still learning new things about Him. And He is teaching me new things about surrender. 

His truths reach in and touch my very soul. I am open to His discernment. I am open to His direction and discipline. 

I receive His grace and mercy. He abides with me and I with Him. 

I live such a different inner life now with Him than I did without Him. Like I have said before, I am home. And I never want to leave. 

In sincerity,

Prayer

Lord, you have blessed this ministry,

You are sending souls in need, 

open their eyes that they may see,

how wonderful and true You can be,

to an open heart who wants to give,

their life to You with all its cares.

You are faithful and true to all who come,

and bow down with humbleness to Your throne,

You will give them the rest they need,

as You pick up their burdens, as You did for me.

Lord, thank You for grace and mercy true,

You have given me life I never knew.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

~ Quil

Scripture References

1. “He calls His own… by name.”
John 10:3 — He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out.

2. “For years I did not know Him… but He knew me.”

Jeremiah 1:5 — Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. 
Psalm 139:1–4 — You know me… You are acquainted with all my ways. 
Galatians 4:9 — Now that you have come to know God — or rather to be known by God…

3. “He was with me… but I was not with Him.”

Psalm 139:7–10 — Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Deuteronomy 31:6 — He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Isaiah 46:3–4 — I have carried you from birth… I will sustain you.

4. “I ignored Him for 68 years.”
Romans 2:4 — His patience leads you to repentance. 

2 Peter 3:9 — He is patient… not willing that any should perish.

5. “I searched for love in all the wrong places.”
Jeremiah 2:13 — They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters. 
Luke 15:17–20 — The prodigal “came to himself” and returned home. 
Psalm 73:25 — Whom have I in heaven but You?

6. “I found Him in surrender.”
Matthew 11:28–29 — Come unto Me… and I will give you rest. 
James 4:7–8 — Submit yourselves… draw near to God. 
Romans 12:1 — Present your bodies a living sacrifice.

7. “Even though I was saved at nine, I did not know Him.”
Philippians 3:10 — That I may know Him… 
Matthew 7:23 — I never knew you. 
Ephesians 1:17 — Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.

8. “Since surrender, I have gotten to know Him.”
John 14:21 — I will reveal Myself to him. 
John 15:4–5 — Abide in Me… 
Psalm 25:14 — The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him.

9. “He has shown me I can trust Him.”
Psalm 37:5 — Commit your way… trust in Him. 
Proverbs 3:5–6 — Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

10. “He reminded me of times He was there for me.”
Psalm 77:11–12 — I will remember the works of the Lord. 
Deuteronomy 8:2 — Remember how the Lord led you…

11. “He never turned away, never betrayed me.”
Hebrews 13:5 — I will never leave you nor forsake you. 
Psalm 94:14 — The Lord will not abandon His people.

12. “I find Him when I am lonely, hurt, needing strength.”
Psalm 34:18 — The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. 
Isaiah 41:10 — I will strengthen you. 
Psalm 46:1 — A very present help in trouble.

13. “I never have to look for Him.”
Isaiah 65:24 — Before they call, I will answer. 
Psalm 121:4 — He who keeps you will not slumber.

14. “He is my refuge, my strength, my hiding place.”
Psalm 91:1–2 — He is my refuge and fortress. 
Psalm 32:7 — You are my hiding place. 
Psalm 18:2 — The Lord is my rock and my fortress.

15. “He has changed me from the inside out.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 — If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 
Ezekiel 36:26–27 — I will give you a new heart. 
Philippians 1:6 — He who began a good work in you…

16. “He controls my sin, self, and willful will.”
Romans 6:14 — Sin shall not have dominion over you. 
Galatians 5:16 — Walk in the Spirit… 
Romans 8:13 — By the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body.

17. “I have given Him my burdens.”
Psalm 55:22 — Cast your burden on the Lord. 
1 Peter 5:7 — Cast all your care upon Him.

18. “He has given me peace that surpasses understanding.”
Philippians 4:7 — The peace of God… surpasses all understanding.

19. “He teaches me, admonishes me, opens my eyes.”
Psalm 119:18 — Open my eyes… 
John 16:13 — The Spirit will guide you into all truth. 
Hebrews 12:6 — Whom the Lord loves He chastens.

20. “He abides with me and I with Him.”
John 15:4 — Abide in Me, and I in you.

21. “I am home.”
Psalm 23:6 — I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 
Luke 15:20–24 — The Father welcoming the prodigal home.

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